It's probably no secret that communication is important. I spoke with Krzysztof Rzepkowski, CEO of Sandler Training Polska , about how to communicate effectively, achieve sales and personal goals, and what's more important than words.
What is communication?
The Latin term 'communicatio' denotes the flow of information, emotions, and thoughts between participants. This exchange occurs using verbal and nonverbal signs – speech, gestures, images, and texts.
Zbigniew Nęcki, social psychologist and head of the Department of Negotiation at the Faculty of Management and Social Communication at Jagiellonian University, further emphasizes the intentionality of this exchange and its purpose. The goal is to improve cooperation or the sharing of meanings between partners.
Types of communication
We distinguish communication:
(The rest of the article can be found below the form)
- Interpersonal – a conversation between two people (the sender and the receiver). Words, body language, movements (head tilt), gestures (interlaced fingers), or facial expressions (frowning brows) evoke specific responses, resulting in the emergence of various emotional states. However, these are not always interpreted correctly. You can read later in this article about what to pay attention to during an exchange to ensure you are understood.
- Intrapersonal – taking the form of an internal monologue. Particularly popular with those who appreciate an intelligent audience ;).
- Social – based on the exchange of non-verbal and verbal messages between many people.
- Indirect – possible using tools such as a telephone, computer or – more sophisticated – a letter.
Additionally, forms of communication can be divided into verbal and non-verbal.
>> Increasing your e-commerce conversion rate <<
Which is more important – nonverbal or verbal communication? How do they differ?
Verbal communication is everything you can hear. Nonverbal communication relies on gestures, body movements, facial expressions, and other signals visible to the human eye. The combination of both forms of communication and their coherence allows for a satisfying dialogue based not only on the spoken word and paralinguistic sounds but also on the appropriate reading of body posture, facial expressions, hand movements, and the use of interpersonal space.
Why is nonverbal communication important?
Our body language makes up 55% of our communication, our tone of voice makes up 38%, and our words make up the remaining 7%.
The fact that people perceive non-verbal messages better than verbal ones is confirmed by Krzysztof Rzepkowski, President of Sandler Training Polska, trainer, manager, speaker and university lecturer with fifteen years of experience.
I regularly hear from people that they really enjoyed my training. However, when I ask them which ones specifically, they don't remember. It's not important. […] The quality of your reception will be determined by a number of other elements. The manner of nonverbal and verbal communication, how you connected with them, the energy and power in the room. […] Even the most substantive content at a conference can be completely lost if the speaker is boring, unable to convey openness with their body language; if they don't communicate with others with their eyes, but instead talk to the toes of their shoes with their head down. The exception are speakers who have authority and are respected by their audience. We are able to forgive significantly more to those we value.
How to use non-verbal communication well?
The importance of the form in which we give words
While nonverbal communication functions are significant, this doesn't mean that words are unimportant. As my interlocutor argues, everything depends on their importance. This is emphasized, among other things, by intonation, which is influenced by:
- Postawa body – When you're lying down, the message is hesitant, the voice falters, and lacks power. When you're sitting, it's stronger, but it'll be most powerful when you stand up. You have an advantage then – the voice resonates differently in your chest, making it sound more confident. You can also use gestures to help.
- Modulation – a low voice is more convincing, while a high one evokes less authority in the eyes (ears!) of the recipient.
- Speed of speech – By intoning, you give the impression that you know what you're talking about. When you leave room for the other party to express themselves and ask any questions, you're acting as a partner. You'll gain peace and quiet. When you speak very quickly (rapid speech), you might get the impression that you're not convinced of what you're trying to say. Fluency plays a crucial role in conveying your message.
- Speech defects – make it difficult to convey a serious message.
Sounds and paralinguistic factors also play an important role in communication, such as sighs, laughter, murmuring or nodding, which confirm active listening.
Verbal communication examples
Although we exchange ideas with many people every day, communication isn't always mutually satisfactory. Misunderstandings can arise during conversations due to unclear expressions of thought, excessive emotion, misreading intentions, or inconsistencies in nonverbal and verbal messages. It's worth mentioning here the limited level of trust that significantly impacts our ability to interpret a partner's messages in a discussion. If we question their sincerity, it's difficult to maintain a good relationship and the free flow of information!
Other communication barriers include language and cultural differences, communication noise, or differing perceptions of reality. So how can you speak to be understood? Above all, be direct. Talk about your feelings and needs, while respecting the other person's opinion and allowing them the right to express a different opinion. What else should you pay attention to to be a good interlocutor?
People like people who are similar to themselves, and this similarity also stems from language. We decide very quickly—even within seconds on the phone—whether the person we're talking to is on the same wavelength or not. When I see someone, it can take a little longer because I give my other senses a chance to connect , explains Krzysztof Rzepkowski.
Classification is therefore also based on the register of the language. In a business environment, we naturally judge people who use technical terms positively, provided we understand their meaning. Conversely, someone who doesn't speak the language is quick to make a "no" decision when evaluating their dialogue partner, out of embarrassment.
If I start to pretend to speak a language that's not my natural language, I risk embarrassing myself. You have to be natural and be yourself, but in sales, we place a lot of emphasis on attunement. If someone speaks quietly, speak softly. People who speak quietly don't like people who shout. And if someone speaks loudly, they like those who speak loudly too. Maybe they can't hear it themselves, for example. If someone speaks quickly, it's worth speaking to them in an equally rapid manner, because they're likely energetic and their speech apparatus can't keep up with all the thoughts running through their head. If someone speaks slowly, drawls their words, and chooses them carefully, they prefer people who do the same. The message is one thing, the way it's delivered is another. And that's precisely what determines its reception ," explains the President of Sandler Training Polska.
Nonverbal communication reveals more than words!
A single word can be said in a thousand ways. And we don't even have to use language to do it! Nonverbal communication (body language), also known as nonverbal communication, can be even more important. It's a way of conveying information through channels other than spoken or written language. It's especially important when verbal communication is difficult or even impossible.
What constitutes nonverbal messages?
- Dense – used consciously or unconsciously. These include:
- Illustrators (illustrating the features of a given thing or emphasizing important aspects of a statement).
- Emblems (replacing words – for example, a thumbs up).
- Regulators (regulating the duration of a conversation – for example, shaking hands when saying goodbye).
- Adaptors (uncontrolled gestures that facilitate acclimatization to a given situation – for example, tucking hair behind the ear).
Krzysztof Rzepkowski emphasizes that in our culture, gesticulation during conversation is less important than, for example, in the Mediterranean culture, where the rich non-verbal communication language of Italians, especially those from the southern part of the country, has been used in dozens of textbooks with photos.
Fun fact…
Is sign language non-verbal communication?
Sign language is not considered nonverbal communication. Although it consists of gestures, it is a system of signs that, for a deaf person, are equivalent to words. For this reason, it is considered verbal communication.
- Facial expressions – an element that is very difficult to control. On this basis, the sincerity of the message can be assessed.
- Physical distancing – the closer the distance between interlocutors, the closer their relationship. We distinguish public distance (over 360 cm around the body), social distance (120-360 cm around the body), personal distance (45-120 cm around the body), and intimate distance (45-50 cm around the body, i.e., very close proximity).
- Physical appearance – being quite superficial a form of non-verbal communication, easily manipulated, for example by relying on the halo effect (the tendency to attribute positive or negative traits based on first impressions). For example? A tattoo – once associated with pathology, theft, and resulting in limited trust. On the other hand, being punctual may entail attributing additional positive traits, such as reliability or conscientiousness.
Punctuality is a prime example of the halo effect. If I'm on time and on time for our meetings, that carries with it other qualities you attribute to me. It's a tool you can use to your advantage as a con artist. Just dress well, be on time, and I'm already considered an honest person , warns Krzysztof Rzepkowski.
Adam Galinsky and Hajo Adam introduced the term "Clothing Cognition," which describes the influence exerted on our perception by a specific piece of clothing. An example is a doctor's coat, symbolizing knowledge and precision. However, if we call that same coat a painter's coat, the value of the person wearing it significantly diminishes—in the eyes of the audience and themselves!
- Body posture, movements — for example, slouching can be interpreted as withdrawing into oneself, and placing one's hands in a "pyramid" like composure and self-confidence.
- Eye contact — Eye movements or changes in pupil size can betray shyness, awkwardness, insincerity, boredom, or hostility and aggression. If sustained for more than 70% of the conversation, it can be perceived as overly pushy and tactless.
- Touch — expressing a closer relationship with our interlocutor, but also revealing emotions. For example, resting your chin can suggest boredom. Shaking hands, on the other hand, is a clear signal that the meeting is drawing to a close.
These elements of nonverbal communication are interconnected and can complement or contrast other signals we convey through spoken or written language. All of these elements are important for understanding the full context and message of interpersonal communication.
>> Webinar – What is it? How to organize a webinar? <<
Unconscious body movements and body posture in nonverbal communication
Nonverbal behaviors aren't always conscious. Some, such as tucking hair behind one's ear, rubbing one's hands, or tapping the table with one's fingertips, are responses to strong emotions, such as stress, resentment, embarrassment, or impatience.
When it comes to unconscious nonverbal behavior, it's very difficult to control. When I'm stressed, I might not even be aware that I'm doing anything. […] Some people express stress through their bodies, others through their tone of voice, and others express it on their faces. However, everything is manageable. The level of self-esteem is crucial , says Krzysztof Rzepkowski.
So how can we make unconscious nonverbal messages more conscious?
Body control is complicated and challenging, but extroversion can be learned in certain situations. It's definitely worth starting from the inside, not the outside. Ask yourself, "What's stressing me out in this situation?" Which of my deficits is being triggered to make me feel so pressured, embarrassed, ashamed, or afraid when talking to a stranger? Let's not treat the symptoms, but rather address the underlying issue. And work on it, " advises Krzysztof Rzepkowski.
Body language and words – good communication in practice
As my colleague Arek Gleń from Sandler emphasizes, you don't have to be confident in sales. You have to be confident in your actions. And I agree – Krzysztof Rzepkowski.
A good plan and… practice will help us overcome our fears and weaknesses, and therefore our limitations in good nonverbal and verbal communication! This will make it easier for us to convey messages accurately and consciously, even in stressful situations.
Fear disappears only in action. If I've made 100 phone calls or meetings with clients, by the 101st I feel much more confident in that area; I know what I'm going to say. A conversation plan is also crucial. If I'm going to a meeting, I feel confident knowing that I'm in charge and I know where it's going. Usually, it's the client asking questions, and the salesperson trying to adjust, drifting, and then getting wrecked on the reefs of uncomfortable questions or running aground. If I have a plan, know what questions to ask, can commit the client to the meeting, and then stick to that plan, then I feel comfortable and confident, " explains Krzysztof Rzepkowski.
Nonverbal and verbal communication in business relationships - how to use it? Examples
Good communication (both nonverbal and verbal) is the foundation of valuable relationships, both personal and business. They have a shared social significance that's worth leveraging! How can you properly prepare for a meeting with a potential client or customer to make a good first impression, be understood, and increase your influence on a successful sale?
Attunement, adjustment. The first instinct. […] No matter how hard I try not to judge people, not to jump to conclusions, it happens outside of me. Very quickly and unconsciously, conditioning my sense of security. People most like people who are similar to themselves, so I'll make a good first impression by knowing who I'm meeting and preparing accordingly. Or I'll quickly adjust on the spot ," explains Krzysztof Rzepkowski.
>> Sales Funnel – What is it? Definition and Example <<
Words, gestures… career – manage them consciously!
Good preparation for a meeting – checklist:
✅ I know who I'm going to.
✅ I can adapt to him through my clothing, appearance, and message.
✅ I stepped into the client's shoes – I answered a set of potential questions.
✅ I am prepared for possible objections (without them, there is no sale!).
✅ I have good substantive preparation.
All of this makes me more confident. I don't blush or stutter. And then I have the ability to observe my own body and control it. I'm not stressed and I can divide my attention, " summarizes Krzysztof Rzepkowski.
What if it doesn't work? The person misinterprets your message, words, gestures, emotional state, and current mood? Nonverbal and verbal communication fail? Try again! And remember—not everyone will be your client. If the meeting ends in a fiasco, say "goodbye" and immediately... "next please"!
Frequently asked questions about nonverbal communication
It's a way of conveying information, emotions, and thoughts through channels other than spoken or written language. It includes gestures, body movements, facial expressions, posture, and other visual cues.
Both forms are essential and should work together. However, nonverbal communication often takes over, especially when verbal communication is difficult. Even the best words lose their impact if they aren't supported by appropriate intonation and confident body language.
Body position directly determines the power of the message. A message conveyed lying down is uncertain, and the voice is weak. A sitting position strengthens the message, but the greatest impact and confidence are achieved standing up – the voice resonates better in the chest, which also facilitates natural gestures.
Attunement means adapting your behavior to the other person's communication style. If the other person is speaking quietly and slowly, you should lower your voice; if they are loud and dynamic, it's worth responding with similar energy. This stems from the fact that people subconsciously like those who are similar to themselves, which facilitates building trust.
A low voice is generally perceived as more persuasive and conveys greater authority. A higher pitch tends to weaken this authority. Proper speaking pace and intonation make the speaker sound like an expert who knows what they're talking about.
Stress often manifests itself unconsciously through trembling hands, a cracking voice, or a flushed face. Instead of masking the symptoms, it's important to address the problem from the inside out—diagnosing the cause of anxiety and working on self-esteem to regain freedom of movement.
Preparation is key. You don't have to be naturally confident, just confident in your actions. Having a meeting plan, preparing questions, and knowing who you're talking to provides tremendous psychological comfort. When you know what to do, fear disappears, and body language becomes natural and composed.
Summary
The above article covers the following topics:
- The essence of communication and its importance in interpersonal relationships
- Types of communication and the differences between them
- Comparing the effectiveness of verbal and nonverbal communication
- The role of gestures, facial expressions and posture in effective communication
- Examples and importance of body language in communication
- The use of non-verbal communication in business and everyday relationships
